Very good piece! I learned a lot from it because it was an excellent compilation of all the news regarding Fort Hood 1) Aims- to discuss the progression of a news story. In this case, a tragic story that seemingly has no american politics connected. 2) Methods- Telling your side of the story helped very much. Quotes and using dramatic key words such as... 3) Fort Hood, shooting, killed, terrorism, Hassan, "throwing out a bombshell" 4) Limits- very few since the purpose of the piece is supposed to be limited to the subject of fort hood. The only one i can see is one which i have already mentioned- not as many politics involved so the changes between news sites aren't as dramatic. Comments- Very strong piece. There are some basic grammar problems but this essay is a much stronger first draft than your first essay! No need for me to destroy it :-)
1. Define project: To show the important role news plays in our society today through the shootings and acts of terror that recently took place at Fort Hood. Through methods and means: using blogs read, the New York Times, and quotes from political leaders such as Senator McCain
2.Keywords/Key Phrases: terror, sensitive subject, “explosion of any story”
3. strengths: your diction is very colloquial which makes the essay flow better ; weaknesses: there’s a couple of little, random typos- no big deal but you might want to read through once more
4.comments: The introduction is my favorite part, it really shows what you’re trying to do in the paper and ties everything we’ve learned this unit together. I think you need a few more citations- such as which blogs you read, where McCain was quoted saying his view on these things (although I’m sort of guessing it was when he was talking to us but just a thought)
Very good piece! I learned a lot from it because it was an excellent compilation of all the news regarding Fort Hood
ReplyDelete1) Aims- to discuss the progression of a news story. In this case, a tragic story that seemingly has no american politics connected.
2) Methods- Telling your side of the story helped very much. Quotes and using dramatic key words such as...
3) Fort Hood, shooting, killed, terrorism, Hassan, "throwing out a bombshell"
4) Limits- very few since the purpose of the piece is supposed to be limited to the subject of fort hood. The only one i can see is one which i have already mentioned- not as many politics involved so the changes between news sites aren't as dramatic.
Comments- Very strong piece. There are some basic grammar problems but this essay is a much stronger first draft than your first essay! No need for me to destroy it :-)
1. Define project: To show the important role news plays in our society today through the shootings and acts of terror that recently took place at Fort Hood. Through methods and means: using blogs read, the New York Times, and quotes from political leaders such as Senator McCain
ReplyDelete2.Keywords/Key Phrases: terror, sensitive subject, “explosion of any story”
3. strengths: your diction is very colloquial which makes the essay flow better ; weaknesses: there’s a couple of little, random typos- no big deal but you might want to read through once more
4.comments: The introduction is my favorite part, it really shows what you’re trying to do in the paper and ties everything we’ve learned this unit together. I think you need a few more citations- such as which blogs you read, where McCain was quoted saying his view on these things (although I’m sort of guessing it was when he was talking to us but just a thought)