Thursday, October 1, 2009

Slightly Enhanced Version

Here is the link to a slightly and definetly not close to perfect English Essay.

3 comments:

  1. Good work with the revisions. I can see much more organization went into this one and it makes it easier to read!

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  2. Methods/Materials- I like the way you sight not just our blogs in class, but the ones regarding Finnish students. Thats an interesting point of view we don't usually see.

    Keywords- I like the common ADHD you mention. It is a clever way of labeling our thought processes.

    Limitations- Now with the new organization, I don't see any limitations!

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  3. Project: FORCE me to have an opinion on the effect of the internet on our generation.
    Methods: Present me with your information and opinions, as well as those that disagree with you in order to fully inform me.
    Materials: YOUR NOGGIN! And the writings of others.

    Keywords: "values" stuck with me, it speaks about our progress (good and bad)
    You used the word "however" in a way that didn't contradict what you had mentioned previous to it, rather, it enhanced it.

    Limitations: As I wrote for Meagan's blog, your writing probably isn't forceful enough to convince those who are stuck in their ways. This isn't a big problem, but your paper is very much improved so I had to find something for both you and Meagan's papers.


    FANTASTIC WRITING!!

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